Friday, October 31, 2008


HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO EVERYONE!!! I hope everyone had a safe Halloween and got lots and lots of candy.

We took Kaden out trick or treating tonight. He was excited initially to get CANDY!!! He was too cute going up to the doors. He would sign "thank you" to everyone and often signed "Happy Halloween." He made a very cute Mickey Mouse. Halfway through he was ready to go home. He seemed really tired, but once we got home he had to go through each and every piece of candy he got tonight. Unfortunately it is his turn to be out of sorts. He is starting to come down with something, but hopefully it is nothing too serious...probably just a cold. He has a runny nose, cough and so much secretions. I feel horrible for him. Last night we were up about four times, each one lasting about 30 minutes to an hour. He was wreching and need constant suctioning. Poor guy. I hope that it doesn't last too long. Good news is, is that he doesn't have a fever right now and he is still pretty happy and seems to be tolerating whatever it is.

Today Ava would be 9 months old. It is almost unreal to me. I wonder what she would be doing now??? Crawling, babbling, eating baby food??? I think about how her and Kaden would get along, if Kaden would be the big brother that she looked up to, if she would be the little sister that wouldn't leave Kaden alone. We miss her so much. We have too really BIG pictures of Ava that are in the hallway right now. Every time we leave, Kaden will walk up to the pictures and say "bye" to them, and before bed he wants to give them kisses. Man, I love my kids. So anyway, tonight as I was pushing an empty stroller (because Kaden wanted to walk for awhile) it made me think of how my pretty girl, Ava, would be sitting in it, in probably the most girly costume I could find.

From there my mind changed gears to how next year Brody Jace will be sitting in the stroller. That's right, I think we have a middle name. After seeing it typed out though, I am not sure if I like the spelling. We will see. So anyway, this little guy is definitely a mover. Tonight while we were putting Kaden to bed, Brody started kicking (or punching) away. I told Nate to look, because we can know see him moving. Then I grabbed Kaden's hand and put it on my belly. Brody really kicked him and Kaden was really quick to pull his hand off of mommy's belly, almost like "what the heck was that." I was laughing so hard. He didn't want to touch my belly again.

Well, I am going to hang out with Nate. He has pretty much been gone the last two weeks for training. I will try to post pictures tomorrow of our cute little Mickey Mouse. I think there is actually a picture of my belly in at least one of girls (you know who you are) I am expecting to see some of you too after I post these!!!

We miss you baby girl and think about you constantly. We love, love, love you!!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Hubby Tag...

I saw this tag on Sam and Bill's Bunch and thought it was very cute and definitely different. So now it's my turn...

This is my HANDSOME husband

1. Full Name: I rather not put his full name, but his real name is Nathan (which his family goes by) I call him Nate as well as a lot of his friends.
2. How long have we been married: Just over two years...just celebrated our second anniversary.
3. How long did we date: 4 years
4. Who eats the sweets: depends on what they are...Nate loves ice cream as well as oatmeal cream pies.
5. Who said I love you first: that would be Nate. I actually didn't say it back right away (I felt it, but wanted to make sure, that is kind of mean when I think about it).
6. Who's Taller: Nate...we are both tall but he is about 5 inches taller then me. He is 6'3", I am 5'10"
7.Who sings better: That's funny...I would say I sing better but that is not saying much. I can't sing, so just imagine how great he can!!!
8. Who is smarter: depends on what you are asking.
9. Who does the laundry: pretty much...ME, but I won't do his hunting clothes.
10. Who pays the bills: Nate
11. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed: NOBODY...since Kaden is in our bed, we all sleep sideways. We have a king size and Kaden sleeps by the headboard so we can make sure that his tubing doesn't get under us, I sleep in the middle, and Nate sleeps by the footboard. I know, it is a site to see!!!
12. Who mows the lawn: Nate, I hate the smell of cut grass and gasoline.
13. Who cooks dinner: most of the time I do, unless I work really late then Nate does.
14. Who drives: Both of us...Nate can easily fall asleep behind the wheel when he is tired...I don't understand it.
15. Who admits they are wrong: are you crazy...neither one of us...we are both hard headed
16. Who asked who out first: We just hung out as a big group for awhile, but Nate did end up asking me "what I want(ed)" and that he wanted to be with me...How cute!!!
17. Who wears the pants: I guess we both do, although I tend to get a little upset when I don't get my way (according to Nate)
18. What does he do that surprises you? when he helps out around the house without me "nagging" him to do so.
19. What is your favorite feature on him? EVERYTHING (I know, sounds corney...but have you seen him??? I think he is pretty hot, myself!!!)
20. What is your favorite quality he has? he is an awesome daddy, and I know that I can trust him
21. Does he have a nickname for you? not really, he just always calls me babe or baby (which I heard once that those nicknames are for lazy people...???, I think it is still nice to hear)
22.What is his favorite food? that's easy...chicken enchiladas or chicken with mashed potatoes and "white" gravy
23.What is his favorite sport? Nate loves, football, baseball, golf, name it
24.What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? hang out either as a family or just the two of us. We like to rent movies and watch them after Kaden goes to bed (I know, hold on to your hats, we are very adventerous).
25. Does he have any hidden talents? he claims he can draw...the six years we've been together I haven't seen anything day!!!
26. What do you admire most about him? That is easy...I am amazed at his strength and support and love for our family. With everything we have been through, I know that we can do anything together...we have a bond that nobody can take away from us (as a couple and as a family).
27. What is his favorite color? blue
28. How did he propose? This might be a long story...He was in the police academy and came back for the weekend. It was a Friday night and when I got home from work he was already there sitting on the couch. Our plan was to go out to celebrate my birthday since he would be gone during the week. He told me to go upstairs and get ready so we can leave. I went upstairs and noticed our bedroom door was closed (it was never closed). I opened it to get my things together and there were candles EVERYWHERE and rose petals on the bed in the shape of a heart with a single rose on top. There was also a new down comforter on the honestly I thought that was my birthday present and he just set up a beautiful presentation. He came upstairs and tried his hardest to get me to pick up the rose. I told him that I wanted to leave it so I could take pictures when we got back. He then told me that we should put the rose in water...I said it already has a water thing on the stem. He tried again by telling me to smell the rose...what do I do...lay on the bed and leaned over to smell it. I finally picked it up and saw a ring dangling from the rose on a string. I looked at him and asked him what it was. He got down on his knee and asked me to marry him. I don't know if I ever said yes...I do remember saying "are you forreal" twenty thousand times. (and he actually asked for my dad's permission) The rest is history!!!

I love you babe...we are lucky to have you in our lives!!!

I tag anyone who wants to do this. It actually is a bit fun to spill the beans on the hubby!!!

Drum Roll Please...

and the winner of the wonderful new bedroom set is...

Thank you guys so much for your votes and for spreading the word for others to vote for Kaden. We are so overwhelmed at how many votes Kaden received, but feel very blessed to have each and every one of them. We have so many great people in our lives who offer us so much support (I am not just talking about all of the votes either). I just hope that we can do the same for others, make other's feel as lucky as our family feels, as loved, as thought of. The outpour of love for Kaden and Angel Ava touches my heart to no end. I KNOW how special these babies are, how much they impact ME, but it is heartwarming to know that they do the same for so many others. Thank you guys again for EVERYTHING!!!

By the way...keep an eye out for pictures of Kaden in his new bed!!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

What to do???

So this morning, I dropped Kaden off for his "trial run" in the pre-k class. He seemed very excited. Since he has already met the class, they knew his name and face so it wasn't too big of a deal. He took a seat and seem to have no fears. He gave me a kiss and even got too distracted to wave bye to I had to sneek in one more kiss.

As I was leaving, I stopped to talk to his early childhood teacher about what time I should pick him up. I, of course, started crying. I don't know why, exactly. I know a lot has to do with emotions and I would say part of it has to do with hormones : ).

So anyway, then I go to work to find out my client cancelled for this morning so I come home. Now I am lost. I don't know what to do. I decided to go get a building permit for this house we are suppose to be building...when???, I don't know, but hopefully soon. Nate keeps saying that he wants it started this week, but I don't see that happening. Anyway, then maybe I'll go to Wal-Mart to get the rest of the halloween stuff for Kaden's school party. Hopefully that will keep me busy until noonish. (sigh) I always thought it would be nice to have time to myself, but now that I have it, I am not sure I want it...yet.

Monday, October 27, 2008

The Greatest Love...

I just have been thinking about how lucky I am to experience the greatest love that there is...being a mommy. I can not explain how much I love my babies. I am totally head over heals for them. I try not to think about the negative all of the time, but I can not get over the fact of how difficult it is as a mommy (or daddy) to sit back and watch your baby (or babies) go through something you have no control over. I miss Ava every day. I feel that she is watching over us and helping me keep Kaden as well as Brody safe. But yet, as a mommy I want to know that Kaden is happy, that he is treated fair when I am not around. I want others to love him as much as I love him. I want them to believe in him, as much as I believe in him. He is a true gift, not only to me, but to those who open their world to him. He is the most friendly, loving boy I know. I can not get enough of his kisses or big hugs. He tells us he loves us all of the time(by typing it on his lightwriter) and he continues to tell us that he loves Ava and now Brody. He types "kiss" and then kisses us, or "hug" and then hugs us. He can make me smile through anything.

Since everything has happened, I feel that I have become more "over-protected" of Kaden. I do not like leaving him to go to work, I don't even like taking him to school. I don't like the fact that I can not be there with him all of the time. I don't know if that is because of the kind of person I am, or if it's because of the person I have become. I wish I could put Kaden in a bubble and know that nothing will ever hurt him physically or emotionally. I know that is impossible. I know (deep, deep down) that it is "good" for Kaden to experience life. He deserves it, but he also deserves to be treated fairly, to be treated just like everyone else.

Tomorrow, Kaden is going to be sitting in the pre-K class to see how it goes. I am excited for him, but also scared for him. He didn't seem to excited about it tonight when we talked about it which makes me want to say "never mind, you don't have to go to pre-K, you can stay were you are comfortable." Then, I have to talk myself into letting him grow up and tell myself that he is a big boy, he can handle it. I think what worries me is that the teacher seems "intimidated" (for lack of a better word) to have him in her class. Our first experience of Kaden going to school was great...although I was sad that he was already going. The teacher and para's were amazing. They welcomed him with open arms, and, well, I guess I just expected that from everyone. However, that is not the case. I don't feel as comfortable letting him go. I know that with time (and probably very little time) this teacher will fall in love with him too.

I added "My Wish" by Rascall Flatts again to our song list because whenever I hear this song, I think about Kaden and now Brody. It is very fitting.

Kaden, angel Ava, and baby Brody,

I love you guys more then I will EVER be able to tell you. I hope you feel every ounce of it. I promise to always be there for you, no matter what the situation. I hope you feel that you can come to me with anything. I hope that you know that daddy and mommy feel blessed that you are in our lives and that you all are very much wanted. We love, love, love you guys, forever and always.


Love always and forever,

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Must Be A Boy Thing...

Yesterday Nate and I took Kaden to Boo in the Zoo. Kaden had so much fun. He dressed up in his costume (which is by the way, Mickey Mouse). It got a little too warm so we took off the hood/ears. He loved going around getting candy...he didn't care about the animals at all. He also loved seeing all of the other children in their costumes. He found Minnie Mouse and got really excited. We met my sister and the The Hulk (a.k.a my nephew, Miles) there as well. I have pictures to post but my battery is really low so I'll have to wait until tomorrow.

After the zoo, we went to visit Nate's family and celebrate our nephew Treytan's third birthday. Before going to the party, we went out to Nate's parent's farm so Kaden and Miles could ride on the 4-wheeler. They loved that. It was very cute to watch the excitement on their faces. When they came back from visiting the cows, I walked over to help Nate get the boys off of the 4-wheeler. As we were walking back to the car, I stepped on a rock and lost my footing and ended up falling to the ground. I am so sore now and have some pretty good bruising on my left side. I guess as Nate was asking me if I was alright, Kaden was laughing...I would do anything to make my little man laugh ; ), little turd. I have heard that being pregnant can make you more "clumsy" but...ouch. I never fell with Ava...however, with Kaden I fell down the stairs twice. Once I was holding a glass jar of Miracle Whip (I know but I was in the process of packing my lunch for work that morning). I ended up walking into our bedroom (where Nate was sleeping) crying with miracle whip and blood up my arm. I can only imagine what was going through Nate's mind waking up to that!!! So I have decided that baby boys make mommies clumsy : ).

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Need A Calendar???

My pretty girl. We miss you baby girl. You are forever in our hearts. Loving you forever. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Visit to buy your 2009 calendar. The money raised from the sales go to CHD awareness and research. Ava is in the calendar...the month of October, an even better reason to get one!!!

When you go to this site, click on CHD Families calendar, then choose the 2009 Wall Calendar. Make sure you chose this one if you want the calendar with Ava's picture in it. This calendar has the three children on the front of it. Our friend Tyler (who was also born with a HLHS) is also in this calendar. Just remember that the money raised goes to a good cause. I personally will probably keep mine on the month of Oct...hey it's a good month, it is the month of our anniversary and has the prettiest little girl on the page (my angel Ava).

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Ok, I am overdue for a post. I have so much to post about, but by the time I get home and put Kaden to bed, my mind is too tired to think.

First, I want to thank everyone who has voted for Kaden and for those who are spreading the word to vote. Because of all of you Kaden is currently in first place. We still have 8 more days for votes, so if you haven't voted, please do so!!! If you go to my Oct. 15th post it will tell you how you can cast your vote.

We have had a lot going on the past few days. First of all, Kaden went on a field trip with his early childhood dev. class to the pumpkin patch. He seemed to enjoy it alright. Then we had the Ava Memorial Golf Tournament on Saturday. There was a really good turnout. The weather was a bit on the chilly side...especially for the morning golfers. Thanks for braving it out guys. It was amazing to see all of the support from everybody. Thank you to every single one of you for everything. A special thanks to Matt, Ross, Brian and Sarah (and families) for all your kindness, support and hard work. It has really touched our hearts and we feel blessed to have you guys in our lives. Nate and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

After the tournament we went to the Cow Creek Opry with Nate's family. Kaden really enjoyed it and danced his little butt off. And last, but certainly not least... Kaden will soon be going into the pre-k class. I am so excited for him, but a little nervous at the same time. I know how much he loves his teacher, paras and friends in the early childhood class. This has been his second year in that class, so I know that he is really comfortable there. I worry about how different this pre-k class will be for him. Instead of three hour days, he will be going for 6 hours. There is "nap time" which Kaden will not be interested in at all. This kid does not nap...not even in the car. It has to be completely dark for him to fall asleep. I think he is afraid that he will miss something. So I guess I am going to have to talk to the teacher about the nap thing. This class is mostly typically developing children, so having Kaden in it will be a new experience for that teacher as well. I hope things turn out great. I really think Kaden needs to be challenged more to keep him interested. He is unbelievably bright (I am not just saying that because I am his mom, I hear it all of the time...and yes, I am bragging a little). What other 4 year old do you know that can spell approx. 300 words, that is a guess it could be a little more, maybe even a little less? He is now figuring out how to make little sentences. Today on his "lightwriter" he typed out "all done potty" when he was sitting on the potty. The other day he typed "mommy and daddy wagon" and I said "yes, mommy and daddy pulled you in a wagon" he then typed "CMH, blue" I was shocked. Nate and I use to pull Kaden in the blue wagons at CMH when Ava was there. He loves them. It is so awesome to be able to know as a mommy (and daddy) what is going on in our little man's mind and for him to be able to tell us. He can type out titles of books he wants without use guessing because he doesn't know the specific sign for the words in the title. It is just perfect for Kaden and his needs, I can't even explain how important it has become in our lives. It actually has a name in our's name is Gray. It is the color gray and that is how Kaden started asking for it, by signing gray. So, that is how we refer to it. I will have to video tape how Kaden uses it.

We are actually "borrowing" the lightwriter right now. It is due back the beginning of November. I worry because Kaden is really dependent on it to communicate with others. I think he is going to be lost without it. I am working on funding right now to get him one, saying that they are crazy expensive. I hope that it doesn't take to long, for Kaden's sake. I have already asked to extend the time frame but they told me that the program is for us to decide if we want to buy the item, that they can not really extend it much but stated they would give us two more weeks with it.

Well now I am just rambling. I tell ya, you start on one thing and then the brain keeps on going. Sorry. Well, I will leave you with some (ok, a ton) of pictures and a video of my dancing man.

Here is the video of Kaden dancing. As you can see he really enjoys it and has a few different moves. Sorry the video is so shakey...Kaden and I were really close to each other as I was taping and he kept grabbing on to me. I hope you enjoy watching him as much as us.

Friday, October 17, 2008

You guys are amazing!!!

Thank you so much for all of the votes!!! We are currently in third place, right up there with second and third. I believe we are about 40 votes away from first, it just keeps getting closer and closer.

Just a reminder, the voting ends on Oct 29th at 3PM EST. You are only allowed one vote...pretty much from one household. So if you have more then one person wanting to vote from home, they will have to use a different computer. We are getting closer and closer to getting Kaden his own bed, so please send your vote if you haven't. It is easy...just scroll down to my Oct. 15th post and click on the link there. It will take you to another site in which you have to scroll down some to find the post with the voting, also dated Oct. 15th. Kaden is number 18, also under Kaden and Angel Ava. If you scroll down to the bottom of that post you will see where you can put in your vote. Thanks all are awesome!!!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Don't forget to vote...

For Kaden...who cares about voting for a president ; )?!!! I was having trouble getting onto the website this morning, to check out the votes, so if you having trouble getting on to vote...keep trying. We have some catching up to do : )!!!

Thanks for all the votes so guys are awesome!!!

Vote here:

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

YAY!!! Time to vote!!!

It's amazing how a bad day can turn into a good day at the drop of a dime. Tonight I checked my e-mail and noticed I had a comment from Kaden's picture made it to the finals!!! He is one out of 20 pictures to choose from. So, now we need your votes. The rules state that only one vote per computer is allowed. So if you have more then one family member who would like to vote they have to vote from another computer. Just visit and under the Oct 15th post for Sleeping Angels Photo Contest Finalists scroll down to vote. Kaden is listed under Kaden and Angels Mommy. Please vote, we could really use bedroom furniture for Kaden...he really wants to sleep in his own room!!! Thank you so much!!! If you want to know more about the picture you can go down to my Oct.5th post "Sleeping Angels."

Kaden wants to leave a message for you guys...
thank you please vote 4 me (ok I helped him with the message, but he spelt it out by himself!!!)

P.S. The deadline is Oct. 29th 3PM EST

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Down Syndrome Awareness

Although my children do not have down syndrome, I have met many beautiful children through this blog who do. Tonight as I was watching the news I saw this video. Please take time to watch it. It brought tears to my eyes and made me realize that there are still many caring young people out there and gives me hope for the future, for my own childrens' future.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Just to fill you in...

So the Ava memorial golf tournament that was scheduled for Sept and was cancelled due to the rain was rescheduled. It will now be this Saturday, Oct. 18th in Onaga, KS. I know, I know, "great" notice...sorry. But I believe there are still spots opened for any team who would like to join.

My plan is to make this into a yearly event, to raise money for other charities in Ava's memory. So be prepared, and maybe I could start posting more of a notice.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Little more about me...


I am- very excited about building a house (hopefully it gets started soon!!!)
I want- to KNOW that Kaden will forever be surrounded by friendly people.
I have- mood swings like no other when I am pregnant.
I wish- this list could go on and on...on the top of course would be wishes for my babies.
I hate- the fact that not every child is loved like they should be.
I fear- death, whether it be Nate and I dying too young and explaining that to one of our babies, Kaden, this baby, my family
I hear- Kaden's ventilator in the background.
I search- for answers to a lot of things.
I wonder- about things in my future.
I always- think about Kaden and Ava.
I usually- spend more money then I should.
I am not- happy with how slow my hair is growing. Grow darn it!!!!
I dance- when I have one too many...which hasn't happened in a LONG time.
I sing- in the car and to Kaden, my angel, and this baby.
I never- flush any toilet (including our own) with my hand...always with my foot.
I rarely- let the dishes pile up in my sink. I hate dirty dishes.
I cry- when I am sad, when I am frustrated and according to Nate when I am watching a chick flick.
I am not always- up this late...ok, most of the time I am, but I am trying to fix that.
I lose- my train of thought way to often when I am pregnant.
I'm confused- with how to start my own in-home daycare.
I need- a bigger house!!!
I should- be SLEEPING.
I dream- that things will go "right" for my family and our lives.
I TAG- anyone who hasn't done this.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Pictures from the trip

Before riding the go carts Kaden and Miles were more into the arcade then going out to ride the cars.

Then we rode the go carts and Kaden did not want to get off of them (as you can tell by his face in this picture.

Kaden and mommy on the bumper boats. Kaden is actually signing car in this picture. He wanted to go back on to the go carts.

Grandpa, Miles, Kaden and I on the bumper boats.

My handsome cowboy.

Kaden has this thing with hair...can't really explain it, but he wasn't a big fan wearing this hat : )!!!

Where did my husband go???

Kaden and Miles at the dinosaur museum.

Nate found a (in my opinion, scary) clown mask, which Kaden thought was pretty hilarious.

Kaden watching the show.

Miles "watching" the show.

We had a pretty good time. Next time we are going to have to have more time though. Thanks mom and dad!!!

We have a name...

I think we have finally agreed on a name. Brody. We haven't really thought of a middle name yet, but Brody Talen is in the running. FINALLY. I was kind of getting nervous that this little guy was not going to have a name.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Answering ?'s

I wanted to answer a couple of questions for you guys. The first one is how long have Nate and I been married? We have been married for two years...together for six. The second question...yes we are alright. Kaden, Nate, my parents, my nephew and I went to Branson the last couple of days and got home tonight. It was Kaden's first getaway. He seemed to have a good time. He really loved the go-carts, kind of threw a fit the first time he had to get out of them. We went to a show last night, which he also seemed to really enjoy. It began at 8pm and ended at 10pm...he stayed awake and interested in the show the entire time. He even picked up on a new hobby, tap dancing : ). The was a small act where the group was tap dancing and at the end of the show Kaden stood up and began to attempt to do the same...too cute!!! I will post pictures tomorrow.

I wanted to share a couple stories of the car ride home. This is a little more PG-13, maybe even rated R, depending on who you are. On the way home my nephew, who is 5, and I were talking about him going home to see his mommy. He then goes on to tell me that he doesn't want to sleep at his house because it is a (brace yourself) "wh*re" house. I wasn't sure if I heard him right, so I asked him two more times. Well, I heard him right...and then bust out laughing, along with everyone else in the car...minus Kaden, he was busy watching cartoons. I then told him he means horror house. He couldn't say it, so grandpa comes to the rescue saying, you mean haunted house. I am still laughing about it as I type it out. Kids...

Kaden has just now learned how to say "MINE!!!" Ok, he doesn't say it clear, but trust me, when he says it he knows what he is trying to tell us, and dang it we better get it.

We stopped at McDonalds on the drive home and got my nephew a happy meal. The toy was a hot wheels car so my mom got a happy meal as well so Kaden could have a car too (for those that do not know, Kaden does not eat by mouth...reason for not getting him a happy meal). When we get back in our car, Kaden starts throwing a fit. I try to calm him down and tell him to tell me what he wants, all the while he is saying "mine, mine, mine" (which also sounds like is "mama"). I give him his lightwriter (the device he types into and it says what he types) and he proceeds with typing "Here, Miles" and is reaching behind him. I still didn't know what he wanted, so I asked if he wanted to play with his car that I put in my purse. He signed yes. As I go to get the car out, my nephew says "it's not in your purse, I have it." Duh mom!!! NOW I get it...!!! Kaden has never really claimed anything. He is pretty good at sharing, so the demand of "Here, Miles" is kind out of out of the ordinary for him...and I actually thought it was pretty cute. However, I did here a lot of "mine, mine, mine" the rest of the ride home. I don't know how much longer it will stay cute.

I will try posting pictures tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


The date is wrong on this picture (if you haven't guessed). This picture was taken the first time Nate and I went out as a couple to one of his friend's birthdays.

In this picture we were probably dating for about 6-7 months. Little did we know what was in store for us...

Happy anniversary!!! You are absolutely amazing and I feel blessed to have you in my life. From the moment I met you, there was something that drew me to you...whether that be your smile, kindness, or just plain old charm I knew that together we would become something great. Not every couple could make it through the struggles and hard times we have gone through. Thank you for loving me, as well as Kaden, angel Ava and this new baby so much!!!

Do you remember in all those lovey dovey notes we use to write, both of us would put "God chose us to be together for a reason," well I think He knew that we would be each other's strength and hold each other up through all the difficult times in our lives. He knew that you and I would make the best parents for the special babies He created and give them the unconditional love that they deserve. I am thankful that God chose you to be their daddy. You are an amazing, amazing daddy. I am sure you know that when you are around Kaden and he can not get enough of you, the squeals that come out of him when you get home from work, and the cuddles you get when he is sleepy. And Ava, how she would follow you with her eyes when you were in her hospital room. She felt your love and continues to feel it. She definitely had you wrapped around her finger, and is the definition of a "daddy's girl." I can not wait to see this new little boy's admiration for you. I know you are going to have another buddy to follow you around.

I am excited to see what else is in store for us and to be able to experience it with you. I know that there are great things to come (there has to be!!!). However, I know whatever it is, you will be there for me, I will be there for you, and we will be there for our babies. I love you baby, more then words can say. Happy Anniversary!!! XOXOXOXOXOXO

Love Always and Forever,

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Sleeping Angels...

As I was doing my daily reading up on everyone's blogs, I read on Rhett's blog of a wonderful giveaway contest. You can find more about it at 5 Minutes for Mom. It is a photo contest of your sleeping beauties...and the winner gets a new bedroom set!!! When I read about this contest, my heart started beating away. THIS IS PERFECT!!! As of now, Kaden is sleeping in mommy and daddy's bed. I moved him into our room, oh, maybe two years ago when I decided I did not want night nurses anymore and Nate was working night shift. It has worked out pretty well, but here lately Kaden has been talking about sleeping in his own room. However, we have a crib in there still and there is no way he is going to fit in a crib. We also are borrowing a dresser from his nana, so this is a wonderful opportunity for him. If you would like to enter the contest, visit the link above!!!

I am sure a lot of our readers have seen this photo. It is one of my favorites of Kaden sleeping. If you do not know the story...we were still at the Ronald McDonald House while our angel Ava was fighting in the hospital. Kaden at first was not allowed to go in and see his sissy due to the time of year and illness going around. He began to sleep with her picture. One night when we got back from visiting Ava in the hospital, I went in to check on Kaden sleeping and found this (the above picture). I had to snap a few pictures. He loves his sissy so much. We actually had a discussion about her today and he talked about her being in Heaven. I asked him if he knew that she still watches us and protects us and he signed "yes." What a little smartie we have in our lives!!!

Saturday, October 4, 2008


I have been tagged twice. The first one is a picture tag. Aimee from Ava Diane tagged me, so now it is my turn. Here are the simple have to go to your pictures file, pick the 4th file, and the 4th picture. Post the picture and tag more people. So here is my picture...
This picture is from the day before Ava past away. She was just a smiling away that day. I am so thankful that I was able to catch some of her breathtaking smiles on camera. If you look closely you can see that one of her nostrils was stretched out from being intubated. It breaks my heart knowing the fight she put up...and seeing that is kind of a reminder. Anyhow, she is still one beautiful little angel.

So now I will tag...
EVERYONE on my friends list!!!

This one is really simple and fun. It gives you a chance to look back through your photos and I am really curious to see what you all post.

My second tag:

This tag comes from Rachel at Here are the rules...
1. Link your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share seven facts about yourself on your blog--some random, some weird.
3. Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.

About myself:
1. I am a germaphobe (spelling ?). I wash my hands constantly, have clorox wipes everywhere as well as hand sanitizer. I do not touch raw meat, and do not like it when it touches kind of freaks me out.

2. My husband and I met at a club. My rule was to never give out my phone number at a bar/club...that night I did!!! Must have been his smile : ).

3. I love reality shows. Not shows like Survivor or Big Brother, but shows like Whose Wedding Is It Anyway, A Baby Story, Bridezilla, John Edwards Crossing Over, the list could go on and on. Oh yeah...and Cops!!!

4. I do not like having dirty dishes in my sink.

5. I am really paranoid...about everything.

6. I am addicted to blogs, read them every day...ask Nate.

7. I have learned more in the last four years then I have in my lifetime. Thanks Kaden and angel Ava.

So now I am suppose to tag 7 people...
Amy -
Tabitha -
Megan -
Aimee -
Kaci -
Andrea -

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Movements, Bye-Bye's, Baby names

Today we had our level two ultrasound. Everything still looks great!!! They will look again in about 8 weeks just to reaffirm that everything is going well. The baby is measuring a little bigger then how far along I am, but I figured that is to come with the big babies Nate and I make. When I was pregnant with Kaden, I was asked with all of the ultrasounds towards the end of my pregnancy, if I was sure that I had my due date right. Ummm, yeah, saying that you gave it to me ; ). It was right...but the 9lb 13 oz baby boy would explain the questions.

Before leaving today, I explained to Kaden that grandpa would be taking him to school and picking him up from school. Kaden gave me a kiss and then typed "bye-bye" in his little talking device and waved bye-bye to me. He then typed "bye-bye, Ava," and waved bye-bye to my belly. I don't know if he was confused that last time grandpa was taking him to and from school was when I was with Ava at the hospital or if he is getting confused about mommy being pregnant again and Ava not being around. It broke my heart and I just explained to him that his baby brother is in mommy's belly and that I would be back home later that day. I think it would help him understand if we could decide on a name for the baby and start calling him by that.

Speaking of names...although the poll is over, we are still undecided. To let you all know...I won!!! I like the name Liam and Nate likes Talen (however you want to spell it). If it was up to Kaden it would be Elmo, Max (which I kind of like, but I know he is thinking of Max and of his favorite cartoons) there is a few more that I can't think of right now. I have come up with several names that catch my interest, but Nate is stuck on Talen. The other day I texted him a name I had thought of and he texted me back with "Talen." I told him he needs to open his mind up and think of other names and the text I got next was "Turbo." What a funny, funny man.

I have finally started feeling baby movements. I have been waiting and waiting. This is one of my favorite things about being pregnant. I don't feel strong movements yet, but withing the last three days or so I have been feeling them every once and a while. It makes me more and more excited to have this new baby in our lives.

We are so lucky and blessed to be given another opportunity to be parents, to experience a new love and get that love returned back to us. We are lucky and blessed to have these three wonderful lives with us (physically or not). We are lucky and blessed to experience a love that some others never get a chance. We are lucky and blessed to be trusted by God with his special gifts and I will forever be grateful for that .

Kaden, Angel Ava and baby boy
You three will forever have love that will never be taken away from you, but instead get stronger and stronger with every second, every hour, every day, every year. Mommy and daddy are in awe of each of you. The lessons you have taught us, the strength and the patience you have given us, could have never been given to us by any other person. You each are miracles to us in your own different ways. To say that we love you is an understatement...we could never explain how deep our feelings are for you all. You will forever be our greatest loves.

Loving you always,
mommy and daddy