Today was an emotional day for me. I don't know if it had to do with hormones or just frustration, but my mind was definitley on Ava and Kaden today.
I miss Ava terribly. I think about her all of the time. I know that she is watching over us and I pray that she feels the love that we still have and always will have for her.
Today I was really frustrated about a comment somebody made about Kaden (which at this time I do not wish to post). The more and more I thought about the comment, it has been on my mind ALL day by the way, the more and more frustrated I got. Although I had that on my mind, it also brought to my mind how much I really miss Ava. I know I miss her and I know what has happened, but it truly has felt like ages ago. Normally my every day thought of Ava is her beauty and all the time and love we shared with her (I know that sounds cliche, but it is true).
Ava, know that mommy, daddy and bubby miss you and love you. You hold such a special place in our lives and nothing will ever replace that. Your beauty will forever be in my mind. Thank you for coming in to our lives and bringing us so much joy and love. We will love you for the rest of our lives.
Love you always and forever, mommy, daddy, and your bubby
As for Kaden:
Kaden, I want you to know how much joy you too, have brought to mommy and daddy's lives. You have taught us more then anyone ever has. You are so amazingly bright. Know that you can do ANYTHING...which you have proven day after day. There is nothing that can get in your way, remember that. You can be anything you want. You are not like everybody else...you are MORE. You have overcome things without even thinking twice about them, not just anybody would be able to do that. Keep your strength and your beliefs. Don't ever let somebody tell you that you can not do something. You are a miracle and every day I see it. Thank you for being you. I pray and hope that other's learn how to live life like you. You are the happiest, most loving boy and we are so lucky that we get to enjoy you. We will love you forever and ever.
Love always and forever, mommy, daddy and angel Ava
March 31st is Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia Awareness Day. Please wear turquoise this day for Kaden and all of the other's who have been diagnoised with this birth defect.
Jan. 31, 2008 to May 7, 2008 You are in our hearts and will be forever. We love you baby girl and miss you so much.
Our Big Boy
We love you bubby.
While we try to teach our children about life, our children teach us what life is all about. (author unknown)
Special Angel In Heaven
There's a special Angel in Heaven that is a part of me. It is not where I wanted her but where God wanted her to be.
She was here but just a moment like a night time shooting star. And though she is in Heaven she isn't very far.
She touched the heart of many like only an Angel can do. I would've held her every minute if the end I only knew.
So I send this special message to the Heaven up above. Please take care of my Angel and send her all my love. -Author unknown
A WALK TO REMEMBER
I walk to remember the steps you'll never take. I carry you with me as I firmly plant my feet. Our trek started long ago, before my belly swelled. You were a love that grew-like butterfly wings that beat. Your gentle flutters than became kicks upon which I would dwell. And I would talk to you, sweet babe, about the world you soon would meet. The sun always shown upon us then-when you were in my womb. And I was eager to show you the world that would have been your home. How you'd have loved the sun shining-blue skies without a cloud. The autumn leaves turning-the snow falling all around. The flowers in the summer,would have filled your eyes with smiles. And the rain that might have fallen would have caused you great surprise. You would have traveled far with me-holding me by the hand. And I'd have shown you all I could-more than I can imagine. You hold my heart tightly now, as thought we're holding hands. How far we've traveled, little one-and my life with you has been sweet. For I carry you in my heart as I firmly plant my feet.
I have four wonderful, beautiful children. Three are here on earth with us, the other received her wings and is now in Heaven watching over us. I take pride in my children, they are the strongest people I have ever met. I have been blessed to be a part of their lives. I am TRULY grateful that God chose my husband and I to love these children. I have never known a greater love than a mommy's love.
THE CHOSEN ONES I had a dream the other night. It came to me so clear. I stood before the throne of God,afraid to come too near. God said to me, "I hear your prayers. There are answers you can't find. I brought you here to talk to me and help to ease your mind. "I said,"Well, yes, God, I am upset...About my special one. This punishment is awfully harsh...Whatever have I done?" God looked at me and shook his head, He said, "My Dear, you've got it wrong. I sent this special child to you because you are so strong. I searched and searched to try and find someone with a love so rare. Parents so unselfish they could give him that special care. I try to save my special gifts,like those you're speaking of,for a special kind of parents I call the 'Chosen Ones. 'Of all the ones to choose from,I know I've got it done...Parents who deserve my best,an honor you have won." -Unknown