The nerves are setting in...

I have been doing well, not worrying too much about the arrival of baby Ava. I think I have been pretty upbeat and "ready." That was until tonight. My family and I were just discussing plans for Kaden and how things are going to work while Ava is in the hospital and I kind of lost it. I couldn't control it anymore....the waterworks were on. I thought it would be a challenge making sure that two children receive the amount of attention they both would require in the same house, but to try and do it in two different buildings seem really scary to me. I just want to make sure that I am able to share my time with both Kaden and Ava and I definately do not want Kaden to feel like I am neglecting him. I am just really nervous at how this is all going to work itself out. I can not believe she is going to be here in a matter of days. We are leaving tomorrow (hopefully) to get Kaden settled into the Ronald McDonald House and that way we don't have to get up extra early on Thurs to make it to the hospital. It will be so much easier to be up there the night before, especially since it is easier to fit Kaden into our vehicle and that way my parents do not have to worry about getting him down there.

I am getting really nervous now. I continue to pray for her health and quick recovery. It's funny how emotions work. I was fine earlier today and I guess just the thought and discussion of everything made it all real. I am so excited about having another little one to love on, I just pray that we get the chance. Don't get me wrong, I still have high hopes for her, but again, reality has come back into play. I THANK each and every one of you who continue to pray for our family and all the encouraging comments and discussion I have had with you all. I will try to keep an update regularly. Please continue the prayers they are very much appreciated.

Getting Ready for Baby...

Kaden giving Ava kisses
Kaden is showing mommy and daddy how he is

going to hold his baby sister.


Today was my last doctor's appt until the baby arrives. They did however change the date that they are going to induce the 31st of this month...one day later than previously planned, but still just around the corner. I am getting so anxious. Kaden has been "practicing" holding Ava, as you can tell from the pictures above. He is so cute, he was rocking Elmo and giving him kisses which turned into giving all of his stuffed animals kisses. He then decided that they needed to go to sleep so he laid them all down on a blanket I put on the floor for him. He read them a book and even "showed" them the pictures. After a while of leaving them "sleeping," he picked up his Pablo (from Backyardigans) and signed to me "all done, sleep." So I asked him what they were going to do next and he signed "play." Duh, mommy, I should have known.

So Kaden has a new talent. He walks all by himself (using a walker). Nate and I picked him up from school today and the teacher asked Kaden to show us how he could walk. He could not have been more proud of himself, who could blame him. What a big accomplishment for such a big boy. He has been using the walker in the past, but they were leaving it turned around the "wrong" way which I think made him more secure because the bar was running in front of him. The past couple days he has been having to use it the correct way and until today he cried every time he used it. I am so excited for him. We are now taking it home after school so he can use it here as well. Grandpa and grandma came over and he was able to show them as well as nana how great of a walker he is. He just cruised around nana's house. Then tonight he walked to the bedroom by himself as I pulled the ventilator along. This is such perfect timing...I can't wait to see him be able to use it more on a consistent basis for longer periods of time. I really can't wait for him to be able to walk into the NICU or special care clinic to see his old nurses and the docs. Well, I am sure I will be updating more soon...and hopefully posting pictures of baby Ava by the end of next week. Please continue your prayers for Ava's strength and quick recovery. Thank you all for your support, it means a lot.

Surprise....

Friday, one of my good friends threw me a surprise baby shower at work. It was really sweet. I got a lot of things I needed, what makes it even better is that I never registered so I just got really lucky. They even all went in together to get a baby swing, since for some reason I had the bright idea to sell all of our old baby things in a yard sale the weekend before I found out I was pregnant. I am so excited about meeting Ava, but of course getting really nervous. Unfortunately I found out that Kaden will not be allowed in the NICU due to RSV season, siblings are not allowed in until RSV season ends. Hopefully he will be able to see her while she is still at Truman. Kaden's old primary nurse even said that she was going to try to rearrange her work schedule to try and be there. I think that is really sweet. I am counting down the days...9 more days left (not including the rest of this one). I can not believe it. I think back and remember finding out that I was pregnant and it seems like forever ago, but then to know the end is almost here is crazy. I am about to the same point I was with Kaden, wanting to stay pregnant because I know she is safe there, but I feel a little more at ease with her. Maybe it is because I have been through this once, or maybe because God showed me with Kaden that with Him everything will be alright. Whatever the reason, I continue to pray and try my hardest to think positive and of course the excitement of getting to see her and kiss her gets me through the scary thoughts.

I can not wait for Kaden and Ava to get to meet each other and grow up together. Kaden told me today that although he does not like all of the pink outfits for Ava he is willing to share his most prized possessions with her....his beloved books!!! What a great big brother Ava will have.

My Poor Bubby....

My poor little Kaden did not feel well at all today. I actually stayed home with him because we did not have a nurse today. Our plan was to go to school together and hang out, just mommy and Kaden because daddy went on a hunting trip and left last night. Well at about four in the morning the poor little guy woke up and was up and down the rest of the morning. When we finally made it out to the living room he just laid on his blanket watching cartoons, quietly, not interested in books or anything. Then he started whining, so I picked him up and cuddled him and he was out like a light...for about 20 minutes, and the wretching started. This poor little guy stayed in my lap for most of the day, minus the time I decided to give him a quick bath. He would sleep for 20 minutes or so, wake up trying to throw up, and then fall back to sleep. After, oh, about most of the day I decided to move him to the couch because my back was in so much pain and Ava would not stop kicking him, and he laid there for about an hour watching cartoons. He didn't want anything to do with anyone except for mommy and boy was he a cuddle bug. I am not sure what is going on with him, I kind of wonder if it is a stomach bug...or his patch. He was so upset this morning, signing potty, but never went and he hasn't had very many wet diapers. I did start a feeding this morning and he received most of it, and then I gave him water with some medicine that is suppose to help him stool (but didn't). Then I started pedialyte and have had that running continously at a low rate. He is not running a real fever, but the last couple of years we all ended up with the nasty stomach bug without fevers. I have been waiting for us to catch the bug...it's just part of our winter routine, so maybe that is what it is. I just hope that I don't get it for Ava's sake and if I do, it will be over the weekend...I need to work tomorrow, since I have already had to take off three days this week, all being unpaid leave. Please pray for Kaden to get better and for this to be just some bug that will soon pass and nothing to do with any type of surgery or his diaphragm.

The Date is Set

So I had a doctor's appt. today and we found out for sure that they will induce on the 30th. TWO MORE WEEKS!!!! I am so excited but at the same time so very anxious. I continue to pray for little Ava's health, strength, and quick recovery. I also hope that Kaden will get to be able to get into the NICU to see his sister. He seems very excited about the whole thing although he did tell Nate and I that he doesn't want to hold her but he does want to play with her and teach her things. He is such a big boy. Oh and boy did he have a growth spurt...time for a big boy booster seat...bye-bye carseat.

I am so excited to be a mommy to two babies and I can not wait to see the two of them grow up together. Kaden has taught me so much, I can only imagine how much more I will learn from having two babies. Oh, and so I started buying a few little girl clothes and I can say that all of the outfits I have purchased so far are PINK...what...I couldn't buy it for Kaden (and he probably appreciates that) and now I have a good reason. Well, I just wanted to let everyone one know to be expecting baby Ava's arrival at the end of this month, maybe the begining of Feb (hopefully I do not have to be in labor that long!!!)!!!!

Is she going to be a January or February baby?????

Well on my last doctor's appt. the doctor (this time) said something about inducing me at 39 weeks, which will make it the last week of January. I don't remember the doctor before saying anything about inducing me prior to this last doctor's appt, but I did see it written on my chart. I am not complaining by any means, it actually makes me excited and I can't wait. My mom is hoping for the 30th, saying that is her birthday...I am just hoping for sometime soon (of course not too soon). I am kind of excited because we talked to a NICU doctor and he said that it is a good possibility that we can hold Ava after she is born, if everything else is ok with her!!! I am looking forward to that. We weren't able to hold Kaden at all for about two months or so. It will be a nice experience for Nate and I. I will find out more next week at our next doctor's appt.