Ava Rae Boeckman
January 31, 2008 - May 7, 2008
Baby girl,
We miss you every day. Yesterday mommy, daddy and Kaden decorated your grave site for Christmas. I hope you like it. Kaden picked out "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" to read to you. I don't know how much reading he actually did, but he did show you the pictures. We talk about you and think about you all of the time. I bought you your Christmas ornament. I was looking for a beautiful butterfly, but couldn't find one so I got you a barbie ballerina ornament. I thought that you would like it. Kaden thought so as well. He got a grinch ornament. We have many ornaments on our tree for you. I wish that you could be here with us on Christmas morning. As I shop for presents there are a ton of things I pass by wondering if you would like them. I wish that I could take you with us tomorrow when we go visit Santa, and see you on his lap with Kaden. I could picture your face now, looking up at him wondering who the heck he is, in a pretty and girly holiday dress with little bows in your hair.
I know that you are in a good place and that you are not feeling pain which makes me feel selfish wishing you were here instead. I miss you so much. You are always in my thoughts and in my heart. I love you so much. I do feel so lucky to have such a special little angel watching over us and protecting us. You were so beautiful when you were here with us, I couldn't even imagine how much more your beauty has grown since you've gained your wings. I am sure you are absoulutely gorgeous up there in Heaven.
Well, good night baby girl. I love you. Hugs and kisses forever.
Love always and forever,
mommy, daddy, Kaden and baby Brody
12 comments:
I am lighting up a candle for Ava and the other babies who lost their lives. Reading your post and looking at the pictures of Ava made me cry for you. She is so beautiful and it hurts that she is not with you in your arms.
we are thinking of you.
Mine will be lit... ((HUGS))
Our candles will be lit. Your letter was lovely and I am sure I would be the same. Always wondering what she would like.
I've never seen those photos before. Thank you for sharing them.
My heart just breaks for you. What a beautiful angel. I will never forget her precious little face. Thank you for sharing your lives with us.
My candles are lit for Ava, Gabi and all of the others who were taken too soon.
Love and Prayers Always!!
Megan
I did the candles...about 10!!!
I also have never seen the funeral pictures, and I'm sorry, but my tears are endless right now.
She is such a beautiful baby. I so wish she were here.
I'm thinking of you everyday and if you ever need a friend to call....call me.
my love always,
Rachel
We will have our candles lit. I think that remembering them this way will be like a great big hug from all of us to our angels above. We all miss them so much. I don't think it is selfish to want them with us, but human. Thinking of all you always.
The funeral pictures made me tear up. A parent should never have to experience that. She was such a beautiful girl, and I know she will forever live on within her mummy, daddy, big brother and soon to be little brother.
x
Bless your sweet Angel Baby Ava. She's a beauty.
The boys and I were just finishing up dinner and I looked at the clock and it was a few minutes before 7. We went into my dining room where my x-mas tree is and turned off the lights and lit a candle. My boys were just so grown up as we prayed for your family.
What a beautiful post. Ava is looking down at you and is so proud of her mom, dad and big brother.
We lit our candle, and I have pictues to send you, however I haven't downloaded them yet. We were thinking of little Ava and Gabi all day today.
Amy, know that we hold your family dear to our hearts.
My heart breaks for you reading this letter to sweet Ava. I can't even imagine how much you miss her.
She must be a glorious sight to see up there in heaven.
Sending our love...
Pam and Rhett
I wanted to let you know that you are such an inspirational Mom to so many people that you don’t even know!! I honestly have no idea how I found your blog in the first place, though I sit in awe every time I visit your blog with everything you have and are going through. You bring such a soft and tender side to parenting such a special child as Kaden and Angel Ava. God truly has chosen you and your family to be given such an awesome child as you have in Angel Ava and Kaden. Working in the medical world as I do, I see a lot of parents who can’t get past the shear devastation of having a child that does not meet what society says is a “normal” child. That fact that you write with such grace and joy about your experiences really shows what a phenomenal parent you are!!!! I can only imagine that writing about some of the things you have gone through can’t be easy, but honestly know that the words on you blog serve a much higher purpose!! You’re such an inspiration to what a true godly women is and I hope that you give other parents the “seed” to believe that there is ALWAYS HOPE even in the darkest days!!!! That they have to believe that doctors don’t always know everything and that by believing that miracles can happen, they will!!! I don’t believe I have read all the way back to the beginning of your blog, but what I have read over the past year, I don’t think I have ever heard you give up on your children once. You’re always striving for them to bet every milestone with the strongest of determination!! WAY TO GO!!!
Besides letting you know what an inspiration you are to many of us out in the bloging world, I am wondering if you might consider logging into another blog that many people are monitoring? This Mom I can sense would really benefit from hearing from another Mom with a child with a trach. This little one was born very premature and has had many, many struggle along the way. She was just transferred from her “home” hospital in North Carolina to Chapel Hill 2 hours away and they are running into lots of obstacles. Right now her daughter has just been trached due to capillary hemangioma in her throat. I thought you might be able to give her some kind and comforting words to let her know that someone out there has been in her shoes, morning the same “silence” she feels with knowing for some time that she will not be able to hear her cry or laugh. She is also grieving the loss of parental freedom of being able to take her daughter out and about without now having a full time nurse to care for her and the trach, especially in the car while driving. If you happen to read today’s entry you will see what she is going through. Here is the link if you think you might be able to help. http://mackenziealexander.blogspot.com/
Thank you again for all the inspiration that you provide without even knowing it!!!!
Kimberly
amazinggratitude@comcast.net
I will be lighting a candle for you and for my little angle's that and all the other babies. When I read your post and saw the picture's of Ave it makes me think about my little babies that I lost I had 3 stillbirth's and I think about them all the time and this time of year makes me cry all the time because they can't be with me and I want them back to in my arms looking at how beautiful they all are. I know that it takes time to heal but I know that I can't heal from this because it hurts to much to think about them everyday. But anyways I am glad that all are doing good I wish you all A Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year from Kim
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