Happy 1st Birthday Angel

Ava,

I can not believe that you are one today. It is unbelievable to me how time can go by so fast, but at the same time seem so slow. There is not a day that goes by that we do not think of you and wonder what life would be like with you here with us. I can only imagine all the things you would be getting into right now. Oh, and to see you dig into your first birthday cake, I am sure it would have been a sight to see.

You have touched our hearts. Your fight was amazing, but God had other plans for you. Sometimes it is hard to understand exactly what they were, but I think that your story is helping other families whether or not they may be going through the same things that you went through. You are an inspiration to mommy and daddy. You and your bubby have taught us so many things that others never would have. I hope that you felt the love we have for you while you were here with us and continue to feel it. I also hope that you understand that we had the best intentions in every decision that we had to make for you. Although I would rather have you here with us (I know that may sound selfish)I want to thank you for not leaving the decision up to mommy and daddy. I know that may sound harsh, but I don't think I could have ever had the strength to make that type of decision. I know that you fought as hard as you could for each day you were here with us and I could not ask for anything more. The 3 1/2 months you were with us, although hard and short, are days I will never forget.

I do have a hard time remembering little things, like how you felt in my arms, how soft yours skin was, the sound of your cry. However, I will never forget the love I have for you and the beauty that surrounded you. I think about all that we are going to miss not having you around. I think about how daddy feels about not having is little girl, how he won't be able to scare away your first boyfriend, or how he won't be able to walk you down the aisle. I hear songs that speak of daughters and it makes me miss you even more. They say with time that the heart heals, although I am not sure how true that is. I do think with time that it just becomes more of a reality.

Well baby girl, Kaden and I need to finish getting ready so we can go pick up your daddy and start to celebrate your birthday. We love you more then words can express and miss you terribly. I hope you love all the balloons you will be getting today. I know Kaden is excited to send some to you. He wants to bring you flowers too!!! I know that he misses you so much.

Love you always and forever,
Mommy, Daddy, Kaden and baby Brody

What a weekend...

This coming weekend is approaching fast...too fast. Ava's birthday is just a few days away. Please help us celebrate her life by sending balloons her way. I have had a few people ask me what color I think she would have liked. I think that she would be like her big brother...in which color doesn't matter, just the joy of the balloons themselves. However, she was definitely my "pretty in pink" girl (ok, she was pretty in any color, but my favorite was pink, maybe it's a girl thing).

So Friday, we have an appt in KC for Kaden's pre-admissions stuff. It is also my mom's 21st ; ) birthday. Saturday, of course, is our angels birthday and then Sunday we are headed back to KC to stay the next couple of days for Kaden's bronch. We have decided to go up on Sunday because it is about a 2 hour drive and it seems we happen to be first case every time. It's just easier to stay the night up there the night before. I continue to be concerned about how things are going to go (emotionally). With it being so close to Ava's birthday doesn't help anything. I worry about how Kaden will be feeling and if he will be able to express his thoughts about any of it. My heart breaks just thinking about what could go on in his head. One of us, Nate or I, will stay in the PICU with him over night. I couldn't imagine leaving him there by himself, I am sure that would be a very scary experience for him that I do not want him to go through (for any young child at that). Again, it makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it.

Well, then we will come home Tuesday. I'll go back to work and hope that Brody comes soon so I can take that maternity leave. I NEED a "break", work is stressing me out on top of other things.

One more thing...
I got a something in the mail awhile back about making a quilt block in memory of Ava to be used at the CMH. I don't know how many of you have seen the memory quilts they have hanging in the hallway, but that is what it will be used for. So anyway, I finally got ours done, (I know, last minute) but now I have to get it to the chaplain. I plan on calling her tomorrow to see if I can just bring it to her Friday or if I need to send it overnight. We will see. So, for those of you who visit the hospital...keep your eyes opened. I don't know how long it will take for them to put the quilts together, but if I hear anything I will let you know.

Thanks.

One Step Closer...

I had a doctor appt today. The baby is still growing, but I already knew that!!! I am dialated to 1cm. I know, it doesn't seem like much, but it sure made me happy to know that I am not just experiencing the contractions without any progress. I'll take it. I still have 3 1/2 weeks left until my due date, so we will see if he comes a little early, whether on his own or at the request of the doctor.

Sleep just keeps getting harder and harder to come by. Who needs sleep, right? I know they say it is to prepare you for when the baby comes, but I really think that is unfair. I think Kaden is getting on a different schedule as well. The little stinker woke up a little after 5am yesterday morning and didn't want to go back to sleep. Actually, he has been getting up when I get up for work and he is normally my sleeping buddy on the weekend, sleeping until at least 9. Maybe, he knows things are changing. He is doing really well in school. He actually has a bronch coming up so we will be at CMH the 2nd and 3rd of Feb. for that. I am not looking forward to it. One reason, I do not know how he is going to react being in the PICU after everything with Ava. Second reason, I don't know how I am going to feel about being in the PICU after everything with Ava. I knew that the time would come, I just wish it didn't have to.

Which brings me to my next topic. Ava's birthday is going to be here in about a week. I can't believe that she will be one already. It makes me so sad to know all that we missed with her this past year. Well, we have decided to do a balloon release to celebrate with her. It is so hard to think of ways to celebrate a special occassion like this without her here to celebrate it with. Please join us, as there are many of you who follow along in our journey, and release a balloon for Ava. We would love to see pictures of you all with your balloons so that we can put it in Ava's scrap book. You can e-mail them to me at nateandamy1@yahoo.com. I think that I am going to do cupcakes and things with our family, but haven't thought of all the details. I want to thank you all for being (in a way) a part of our family, although we haven't had the pleasure of meeting most of you. I will put a reminder up for Ava's birthday the closer we get to it. Thanks again.

***SIGH***

Finally, I have been able to change the background. It was driving me a little nuts, that with other things like HORMONES. So, now I will go with the Valentines theme, I know it is a little early, but who knows how much time I will have to do things in the near future.

I continue to be uncomfortable. Sleep is getting harder and harder to come by. Seriously, how many pillows does a pregnant women need to get comfortable??? I guess it probably would help if I didn't sleep between two bed hogs (aka Nate and Kaden), but in the non-pregnant world that is the best place to be :). I don't know if my stomach can take too much more, ok, well my whole body. I am so sore, almost all of the time. I can't get up without regretting thinking it over and then regretting it. However, most of the time I do not have a choice of staying where I am. I wake up almost every hour to roll over, the whole time saying "Ow Ow Ow" and moving little by little. I know, I know, I am complaining, but right now I feel I have every right too : ). I will be in complete shock if Brody isn't close to Kaden's weight, although I don't remember feeling so awful back then, but hey, that was over 4 years ago.

I am so excited to meet this little guy. I am really excited to see Kaden with him. I think he is going to do very well with him. I am nervous about making sure that Kaden feels loved and not left out. Nate is busy with building the house right now, so I think I will be here with the boys by myself quite a bit, and I just want to make sure that Kaden has enough attention from mommy.

Today, my mom, Kaden and I went shopping for part of the day. We didn't get too much. We actually went to get my birthday present, however I couldn't find exactly what I was looking for. We went to a furniture store and looked around. We ended up by the children's furniture and Kaden found a bunkbed, his size. He was able to get on it and off of it by himself. But yes, we have received the furniture you all helped him get (some of you have been asking about it), we just haven't put it up yet because we have decided to wait until we get into the new house. I did remind him that he already has a big boy bed and when we get into the house he will be sleeping in it, which I am excited for but nervous about at the same time.

Other then that, I finally started getting into the "nesting" stage. However, I am so tired and sore all of the time it is hard for me to actually get going. Oh, one day...maybe.

Is it just me...

I know a lot of the blogs I follow and vice-versa use the cutest blog on the block for their backgrounds...so I was just wondering, is anyone else unable to get on their site. I have been waiting for awhile to change my background and have not been able to get on their site. Any advice???

Waiting...

I have been wanting to change my background for the last couple of days, but unfortunately the site I use is down right now. It is driving me a little on the crazy side. Hopefully within the next few days I can get it done, however, by then I will probably be a too lazy.

Well, yesterday I had a doctor's appt. They asked if I was having any contractions and I told the nurse that I didn't know if the were braxton hicks or real ones. So the doctor checked me. I was not dilated yet (which is fine with me b/c it is still kind of early) but he did say my cervix is softening. He then measured the baby. After doing so, he sat down and shook his head. He then says..."I don't know Amy, he is a big baby." He asked me how big Kaden and Ava were. I am confused about this part...he said something about the baby being 8.5-9lbs. Then he said something about having him at 38 weeks. He said that they will probably do an ultrasound at this time and see how big he is and decide from there. I am confused because when I first heard the 8.5-9lbs Nate and I figured he was talking about how much he felt Brody might weigh at birth. Well, then I started thinking, I told him how much my other two weighed and that I had no complications so why not just let me go until Brody decides to come on his own. So now I am wondering if he is thinking that he is at that weight now and that is the reason for his expression and comment after measuring me/baby. It would totally explain why I am as uncomfortable as I am. No joke. Today I woke up and could barely walk...ok, move. If I didn't know any better I would think that I was going to have him any day...like he is just going to fall out of me (ok that was probably too much information).

Today, I took out all the clothes that my mother and I bought, as well as the clothes that others gave us and separated sizes and did a lot of washing. Brody should be good for the 3-6months size. I am so excited. Baby clothes are the best!!! I can not wait to put them on him. I think I already have his "going home" outfit picked out!!! So now, I need to get everything else!!! After the appt. I started thinking, 38 weeks, that is in like 3 weeks from now. Not much time to get everything done and bought. Why am I such a procrastinator???

A Little Fun...

I have two things I would like from all of our readers...

First of all, I am amazed at how many readers we have. It really touches my heart to know that my babies touch yours. I can not believe how many people log on and read each day. I am very curious to know who you all are and how you found our blog (if you remember, I can't remember how I have found others myself). So please, leave a comment and let us know...

While your at it, I would like for you guys to guess a weight for baby Brody. My mom, grandma and I were talking about it tonight, here are their guesses...

My mom - 1st guess 10 lbs 13 oz, after I gave her a look like she was crazy she changed it to 10 lbs 3 oz but she thinks he will be around 26 in....I never heard of a baby that long : ) I think she is a little tired!!!!

My grandma - 9 lbs 8 oz

Me - hopefully big enough, but not too big. I will be surprised if he is not close to Kaden's weight and height.

Just a little background info:
Nate was just a little over 10 lbs when he was born

Me, well I was 8 lbs 1/2 oz and 21 inches long

Kaden - 9 lbs 13 oz and 23 inches long

Ava - 8 lbs 8 oz and 20 1/2 inches long (I was told 8 lbs 7 oz however it was written at 8 oz)

Baby Brody - ??????? On the last sono I was exactly 26 weeks and he was measuring at about 29 weeks 3 days.

While I am talking about baby weights, did you all see the baby who was born weighing 14 lbs...that I would like to stay away from!!!

So, leave a comment and let us know who you are, how you found us and your guess on Baby Brody's weight!!! It will be very interesting and fun for us to read. Thank you for your time!!! For those we already know in the blogging world, we would still like to hear from you too!!!

I hope everyone is having a great New Year so far!!!

I might try to post a recent picture of the belly to give you all an idea of how big I really am, tomorrow.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I hope everyone had a safe and happy new year!!!


I have a lot to say about 2008. We have been through highs and lows (about as low as any parent could get). I am excited to start a new year and look forward to experiencing the new gifts life has to give us.

Kaden,
You have grown so much over the last year. What a big boy you are becoming. You have learned to walk and continue to work on the potty training, but I know in your own time you will get it (hopefully sooner then later). You continue to amaze mommy and daddy with how incredibly smart you are. You have been working so hard to come off your vent, unfortunately the bronchitis you had still has it's affects on your lungs which is making it difficult for you to come off your vent for very long.

You have taught mommy and daddy so much. I only pray that you feel how special you are to mommy and daddy. We love you so much. For your four years here with us, you have been through a lot. Not only with what you have gone through but watching what your sissy has been through and then all of us as a family. You give mommy and daddy incredible strength, you must have some type of superhero powers. You are definitely mommy and daddy's hero. We are so proud of you and feel so lucky that you are OUR son. The love we have for you is undescribable, it goes way beyond words. I pray that your 2009 is filled with nothing but greatness for you. You deserved every bit of it.

We love you so much. You are very special and we are very lucky to have the pleasure of watching you grow, learn and just love you.

Love you always and forever,
Mommy and Daddy


Angel Ava,
Although you are not physically here with us, your memory is always with us. We miss you so much. Even with the outcome, we are glad you came into our lives (like the song "The Dance"). Thank you for fighting as long as you did, just so mommy, daddy and bubby could be with you a little longer. This year has gone by so fast. I can not believe that you will almost be one. It is unbelievable to me.

I feel like you were here so long ago, I think because of how much I miss you. However, I remember every detail of the night I had you. I remember how fast you came into this world. I remember how much I was shaking when I was holding you after you were born and giving you to daddy because I was scared I was going to hurt you or something because I couldn't stop shaking. I hope you know how proud daddy and I are of you. You are an amazing little girl who touched many lives (you take after your brother in that department!!).

I thought about you a lot tonight. I wish you could have celebrated with us, even if you were already in bed like your bubby. Your so precious to us and our love for you will never fade, no matter how many years go bye.

We love you baby girl.

Love always and forever,
mommy and daddy

I Am So Lucky...

I have the best job in the world...ok, not really. Today I was doing things to get stuff ready for group that I am now coordinating and ended up having to pick up a little man and hang out with him for awhile. While we were in a company vehicle (thank goodness), I hear "Mrs. Amy" and I turn around. He had thrown up all over himself along with part of the van. I asked him why he didn't tell me that he didn't feel good and he said "I told you I missed my mommy." I should have known : ). I felt so bad for him, but I do not do throw up. As I handed him paper towels to try to get some of it off of him, I was so close to throwing up myself. Driving him home, I almost threw up on the van too. UGH...talk about the most frustrating part...I came back and had to clean up this vomit with some type of vomit clean up kit, which didn't work that well. I spent so much time cleaning up this mess, I think I need a raise!!! I don't know what I am going to do when Brody gets sick. Kaden has a fundo so he can't throw up (which makes me feel horrible for him when he is sick). So that was the "highlight" of my day.

I am so glad I get to come home to Kaden, he always makes everything better, especially on days like today. How could he not...look at him. Now I just hope that we don't get sick.

AHHHHH...

I can not breathe!!! Seriously, this little man is making me so uncomfortable and I still have 7 weeks left. I don't know what I am going to do. Yesterday I couldn't do much because I would do something and then spend forever trying to get air to my lungs. Then I couldn't sleep last night because it felt like I couldn't catch a breath. I actually called my Dr.'s nurse and she probably thought I was crazy. I just wanted to make sure that it was normal because I couldn't remember going through the whole breathing issues with Kaden or Ava. She said with how I am carrying that Brody is probably just pushing up on my diaphragm. Thanks kiddo.

My mom and I were talking last night about how big Brody will probably be. We were comparing my stomach as of now to my stomach with Ava around the same time frame. I am way bigger with Brody then I was with Ava. I will be very surprised if this baby is not as big as Kaden. I don't know what I am going to do the last four weeks when he gains, what...1/2 lb a week. UGH.

Today I had to run to Wal-Mart. The cashier was asking me about my pregnancy and asked if it was my first. I told her no, that I had two others. As we were talking about everything, she then asked "their ages." I told her Kaden's and then hesitated for a second and told her about Ava. She looked very sorry that she asked, but continued by wishing me luck with this pregnancy. I have told myself that I want to include Ava in conversations about my kids, but when it comes time it is so hard because I don't know the reaction I am going to get and I really do not want to feel like I am putting people on the spot, but how else am I going to keep her memory alive???

On another note: I took my Christmas tree down yesterday. I typically leave it up until after New Year's but just felt the need to take it down yesterday. I am glad I got it out of the way!!!

I hope everyone enjoys their New Year's!!!! Have a safe and happy one!!!

Finally some new pictures and videos...

These are, of course, some photos from Christmas. Kaden was really excited about Santa coming to the house and continues to talk about him. One of the videos is of Kaden in the car. We were driving to Nate's hometown and there are some serious hills out there, the type that make your stomach leap out of your body. Kaden loves going down these hills as you can probably tell in the video. The other video is of Kaden enjoying a group singing Christmas music after visiting Santa Claus.

While I am at it, I have a couple of cute stories to share from today. The first one...Kaden was going through some of his new toys and signing who gave them to him...Santa, mommy and daddy, etc. Kaden got a gift from angel Ava. He picked it up and signed "sister" and then looked up to Heaven and signed "thank you." It was way too sweet. Then I was reading him Horton Hears A Who. I read one line that says something like "too small to be seen by an elephant's eyes" but read it as "elephant's eye" and turned the page. Kaden turned the page back and pointed to the "s" in eyes. What a smartie pants!!!

Well, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Now that it took me FOREVER to download these videos I think I am going to go to bed.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

We would like to wish everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS. Kaden made out, he must have been a REALLY good boy this year!!! He woke up at about 7:15 and seemed excited that Santa came but was a little on the tired side so whined a little when he had to use too much effort to open up his gifts this morning. Once he got to grandpa and grandma's he was more into it. Now I have to figure out where we are going to put everything!!!!

I hope everyone had a safe and wonderful Christmas!!!

Another Prayer Request...

Please keep Carson and Kaci over at My Three Sons in your prayers. Carson has been having difficulty gaining weight due to some feeding issues and they have been trying to keep him from getting admitted into the hospital by sending him home with a NG tube (inserted through the nose down to the stomach for feedings). However, they are having a hard time with Carson pulling it out and when mom tries to put it back in he goes limp. So far this week I think they have been to the ER twice (and it is only Tuesday)...this time hoping that they do not get admitted. It is really hard to be in the hospital with a child on any special occasion, especially Christmas. Please visit their site (on my side bar) and let them know that you are thinking and praying for them during this tough time.

Kaci, if you need anything...call me!!! I hope things get better and they can figure out what is going on with Carson. We are thinking about you and keeping you in our prayers.

Mr. Carson...

I just wanted to ask you all to visit Kayleigh Anne's blog (the button on the side bar). She was born very prematurely and has been in the hospital for a long period of time. She is battling pneumonia, which was very close to taking her life, but with continous prays she seems to be healing. Her mother and father put a button on their site for donations as they are struggling financially while trying to be there for Kayleigh while she is in the hospital. They also have two other children at home.

We have been there and know of the struggles they are going through. I know not everybody can help financial, but even your moral support and prayers will help them. Please read their blog to find out more about this precious little girl and while you are there, leave a comment for the family. Thank you so much.

Giving it another try...

I tried to post last night and after I had finished my post my Internet stopped working. Talk about driving somebody up the wall.

Well, basically I talked about Kaden's trip to see Santa. He did alright, considering that Santa sat right across from the book store in the mall. Kaden did sit on Santa's lap, after I picked him up from the floor and put him there. He signed what he wanted and signed "thank you." Santa's helper asked Kaden to show Santa how to sign "Merry Christmas." Mommy helped Kaden, but he did it as well as showing him how to sign "Santa Claus." Santa seemed to get a kick out of it. We also stopped in an area in the mall where a band was playing Christmas music. Kaden got right in front of the stage and danced his little bootie off. Everyone around looked as though they were enjoying the entertainment provided by the one and only MR. KADEN!!!!

We got about 3 or so inches of snow yesterday. It is very pretty, but is driving me crazy with how messy it makes everything.

Last, I have decided to post a picture of my continous growing bump. I will post other pictures as soon as I get them downloaded on the computer. I have become a little lazy with that part of it all. The only reason I can post these picture is because somebody sent it to me.


Kaden's first visit with Santa this year.

Light Your Candles

Please do not forget to light your candles tomorrow from 7pm to 8pm to remember the life of our precious little Ava and all of the other little angels taken from their families too soon. Thank you.

Ava Rae Boeckman
January 31, 2008 - May 7, 2008












Baby girl,
We miss you every day. Yesterday mommy, daddy and Kaden decorated your grave site for Christmas. I hope you like it. Kaden picked out "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" to read to you. I don't know how much reading he actually did, but he did show you the pictures. We talk about you and think about you all of the time. I bought you your Christmas ornament. I was looking for a beautiful butterfly, but couldn't find one so I got you a barbie ballerina ornament. I thought that you would like it. Kaden thought so as well. He got a grinch ornament. We have many ornaments on our tree for you. I wish that you could be here with us on Christmas morning. As I shop for presents there are a ton of things I pass by wondering if you would like them. I wish that I could take you with us tomorrow when we go visit Santa, and see you on his lap with Kaden. I could picture your face now, looking up at him wondering who the heck he is, in a pretty and girly holiday dress with little bows in your hair.

I know that you are in a good place and that you are not feeling pain which makes me feel selfish wishing you were here instead. I miss you so much. You are always in my thoughts and in my heart. I love you so much. I do feel so lucky to have such a special little angel watching over us and protecting us. You were so beautiful when you were here with us, I couldn't even imagine how much more your beauty has grown since you've gained your wings. I am sure you are absoulutely gorgeous up there in Heaven.

Well, good night baby girl. I love you. Hugs and kisses forever.

Love always and forever,
mommy, daddy, Kaden and baby Brody

It's Been A Long Day...

Today I had my three hour glucose test and it came back...normal!!! It was a pretty boring three hours but it did go by faster then I thought it would. After the second blood test the lab tech said I could leave for 45 minutes and come back for the next blood sample. I went out to my car and it would not start...darn me, I forgot to turn off my lights. Nate's friend came by and jumped it for me...thanks again Ryan. I also got a call from Kaden's medical supply company saying that his medicaid insurance is no longer valid. What great timing since I really had all the time in the world to call around to figure this out. However, I didn't get ahold of the person who could help me. How frustrating!!! So tomorrow I will continue my phone calls until I can get this resolved.

So the good news is, is that I do not have gestational diabetes, oh, and I got a "promotion" at work!!!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

DECEMBER 14th...

I received something in the mail the other day and then read about the same thing in the newspaper yesterday. Compassionate Friends (an organization that provides support for bereaved parents) is sponsoring a world wide candle lighting. This candle lighting is a ceremony to remember children who have passed away. It is held on December 14th (which I believe is on a Sunday) at 7:00pm for each time zone. This is to cause kind of a wave of lighting around the world for 24 hours. Please take part in remembering Ava along with the other beautiful children who have lost their lives.

Another thing that I will make a tradition is the lighting of a candle on special events such as holidays to represent Ava celebrating with us. I hope this will make it easier for our family to remember that although we can not see or touch her that she is still with us.

Remember to light your candle on Dec. 14th 7:00pm to help remember little angels like our precious Ava.

Angel Ava


Angel Gabi


Angel Elli


Angel Brody


Angel Mariah Boeckman

Angel Madison Rice

Angel Jack Eickholt

and the many, many more little angels that families are missing every day.

If you would like, you can send me a picture of your candle and I will try to use the pictures to make something special. Thanks.

*Sorry, I could not figure out how to make the pictures all the same size.

Dr. Appointment

Today Kaden had a doctor appt for his regular vent check. He is doing very well and continues to impress the doctor as well as all the others there who know him. I explained to him this morning that he was going to the hospital and he immediately signed "hurt" and pointed to his leg where he got a previous shot. I told him that I didn't thing that he would get a shot today (which ended up being a lie, well kind of...he had blood drawn). The last 4 hospital visits he has been poked, so I don't blame him for being worried.

Kaden showed off all his new talents that the doctor hasn't seen too much of. He showed her how well he walks now, how he can spell, and his cute personality. He got many, many laughs and "awe's" today, just being his goofy self. The doctor and nurse walked us to our next appt, which was with Pre-admissions testing. When they were leaving Kaden signed "thanks for playing" to them (silly boy). During the pre-admissions we found out that they are going to wait to do the bronch because they do not feel comfortable putting him under after being sick and still having a cough. Then Kaden's doctor came back and took him up to the NICU to visit some staff that had taken care of him while there. It was so fun to see Kaden walking around from office to office and seeing the faces on everyone. That has been one thing Nate and I have always wanted, having Kaden walk into the NICU. I can't explain why, it has just been a little dream of ours for him. He got a little shy when a group of nurses came to see him...although I think it is because he had a crush on one of the nurses and her hair (he has a thing for curly hair, what can I say).

A cute story before I log off. Last night Nate and I were talking to Kaden about his baby brother before going to bed. Nate asked him what he was going to do when his baby brother came. Kaden then signed "baby, cry."

Me: Yes babies cry, what can you do when the baby cries?
Kaden signs: play toys, books, share.
Me: That is so nice that you are going to share your things with Brody.
Kaden signs: eat, diaper, sleep.
Nate and I: Oh so you are going to feed him and change his diaper and then put him to sleep.
Kaden: nods his head yes (which he just started, he typically signs yes, but the nod is soooo much cuter).

Nate and I also explained to him that things will be different then last time and that Brody will get to come home. Kaden signed "home" as if looking for reassurance. I am so excited to see the two of them together. Nate asked him if he was going to hold Brody, and Kaden nodded his head yes. However, the last few babies we have been around, Kaden doesn't seem to keep too much interest in them so we will see.

Oh, one more thing. Since Kaden has been sick, he has had the thickest mucus. Well the last three days now he has coughed up stuff so thick that it gets stuck in his trach and then we have to do an emergency trach change. Today, the third day, it happened on the way home from the hospital. I had no idea that my big pregnant butt could hop in the middle row so fast (let me tell you that was not an easy task) and then reach all the way to the back of the vehicle to grab the bag with the spare trach in it and end up changing it all in less then a minute. Nate was on the highway and couldn't pull over fast enough. I was kind of sore after doing this. I think it was from me hitting my belly on the seat a few times, either that or just being out of shape : ). I wonder what the vehicles next to us were thinking?

Here comes the three hour test..

So today I had my glucose test. I have to go back for the 3 hour test next week. How fun??? I am really nervous because the number was pretty high, and at the time I hadn't eaten for the day. I read about gestational diabetes on the internet just a little bit ago and it has made me very nervous. I don't know why for sure, I know there are many women that get it. I guess, just with everything we have been through with Kaden and Ava and then to put this on Brody as well as myself just scares me. I don't know for sure what to expect, just some of the things I have read bother me. Who knows, maybe it will be nothing when I go back for this lovely testing. I guess I need to change my eating habits anyway. Lately I have been craving sugar and unfortunately I have plenty of it in my house. I really need to say bye to it all, starting today. Man, that means I need to go grocery shopping for something I can munch on besides apples. They may get old really fast. Maybe if I start now, it will help me get back to my girlish figure faster : ), yeah right.

The doctor also talked about the size of Brody (this was before the results of my test). He said that they will keep an eye on things but that they may have to induce because he seems to be such a big baby. I wouldn't mind having him a little early, myself!!!

Pictures

Here are a few pictures Kaden's teacher sent me of him enjoying school. What a big boy!!! He is so amazing, I can not get enough of him.

He is doing better, still has a cough with a little raspiness behind it. He has an appt on Friday and was suppose to have a bronch done on Monday. They will let us know on Friday if they will continue with that or not. The antibiotic that he is on has given him diarrea...something that I have waken up to the past couple of mornings. It is not the greatest thing to clean up especially when everyone is still wanting to sleep. I started coating his little bottom with aquaphor tonight in hopes of keeping it from breaking down. We have definitely been there, done that (while in the NICU)and let me tell you it was one of the worse things for him (that is saying a lot with all that he has been through). Every time he would wet or dirty his diaper he would clamp down and his O2 sats would drop as well as heart rate sometimes. It was just horrible and nothing would work. Once we got home it cleared up pretty fast. I have never really understood why, because even in the NICU I would change his diaper anytime it needed it. Ok, this is going into too much detail, so I will just let you know that Kaden seems to be doing a better.

Pictures of Kaden at school

Neubulizers, Antibiotics, and Shots...

Kaden made a trip to the ER today. The past few days we have been suctioning him a lot more then usual...especially at night. Thursday night, Kaden and I were awake every hour through the night because the poor guy continously coughed and then needed suctioned because he had so much mucuos. I would say we didn't go through one hour without at least five passes with the suction cathedar. Then last night he started running a low fever, however Tylenol seemed to fix that. He was so tired but wanted so bad to stay awake and involved with the activities. Once I got him on my lap, he was out like a light. So, when we woke up today (at 10:00am which was great after getting up through the night with him) he was running a slight fever again. I got us ready and called my dad to have him help bring Kaden to the ER since Nate was at work. I wanted them to check to see if he had bronchitis or pneumonia.

Kaden was not impressed that we were at the hospital. He did not want to be touched or bothered. He got a breathing treatment, that we will be doing at home for a while, then he got chest x-rays done. He was a really big boy with this. He got to stand up to do them, instead of laying down and grandpa got him to say cheese. He thought he was taking a picture. When the results came back the doctor said that "it was not quite pnuemonia." OK??? but wanted to give him a shot of what I believe was some type of antibiotic for pneumonia to stay ahead of it. And what better place to get a shot then in the butt??? Kaden of course had to be held down and the needle still came out and had to go right back in. The nurse said that this shot really stings and is painful for a little bit. However, Kaden really didn't cry much, he just clenched down, I don't know if that was because he was worn out or what. He did want mommy though and held on for dear life. Before holding him, the nurse mentioned the word band-aid and put it on him. Have I ever mentioned how much this child HATES band-aids? Kaden cried worse with this then he did with the shot. You should see how much fun we are having trying to change his diaper right now. He is so nervous we are going to pull it off. I think tomorrow he will have to soak it off in the tub...if he feels up to it. So the nurse did say that it was bronchitis and put him on the oral antibiotics as well as the breathing treatments. My poor guy, he just looks so miserable. It's amazing what tylenol will do for a couple hours though.

Thanksgiving went well. Thursday we had dinner with my family. Friday we went to Nate's family. While there Santa made a visit to their town so we went to see him. Kaden was a little hesitant to walk up to him. He did sit on Santa's lap...without mommy this year. After that he wanted to keep going up to him. He did really well. I am so proud of him. I asked him if he wanted to see Santa again. He of course said yes. So we will have to take a trip to the mall sometime soon. I will post pictures later of his first visit with Santa this year.

Happy Thanksgiving

We just wanted to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I am thankful for a lot of things, but the biggest one being our family.

My Turn...

I guess it is my turn to come down with something. Lucky me. Last night I went to bed at 9:30, that is WAY early for me, I even left dishes in the sink...which by the way drove me nuts this morning. I woke up and had a horrible headache and was just very tired. Now, my throat is feeling sore. I just hope that is the end of it, that no other symptoms come along. I also hope that I can keep Kaden from getting it. He has a surgery coming up and if he gets sick they will have to post-pone it and I am ready to get it done with.

Quick cute story. Today Kaden's class made stone soup. I sent a can of corn with him to put in the soup. I guess the teacher opened the can and asked Kaden to "put the corn in the soup." He did. The can and everything. I guess next time she will have to tell him to pour the corn in the soup!!! Silly guy. I love you buddy, you crack me up.